this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
