What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
