my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize