I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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