Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
