I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
