We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
