...so i touched it.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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