I got chris browned last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
