I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
