i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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