Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
