i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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