she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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