I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize