Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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