hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
