I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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