I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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