Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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