I just made out with a guy for $7.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
