I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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