is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
