I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
