remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I enjoy the company of your penis
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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