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Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
