Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
