its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
