My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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