i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
