My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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