Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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