omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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