sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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