I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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