so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
