...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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