i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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