I wish I could punch you in the face.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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