Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
