does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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