I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Less talking, more tequila
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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