I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
