I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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