Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've blown a few things in my day
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
