Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
