absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
