Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
