It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We have started to decorate penises.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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