For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
