Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
