Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
