Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize