good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
