the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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