he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So squirting runs in the family.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
