Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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