OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
