your parents love me but you hate me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Randomize