You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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