Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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