No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
