i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
