You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
