make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
