I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
